“So rumor has it….”
“Did you know that….”
“Well, I heard that…”
The interesting thing is that when people don’t necessarily know the truth, or at least the whole truth, they tend to fill in the blanks themselves. Some people think they know all. Some people like to assume the worst about people.
Since there are blanks in the story, and questions out there, and because it is starting to become public information, I should probably come out and do some explaining.
I have stepped down from organizing the KC Metaphysical Fair. This was a mutual decision, done amicably and with a great deal of thought and discussion between the three of us. There are people who will assume that it was because of the nonsense that went on last summer, but it wasn’t. The other two organizers are two of my best friends and continue to be. In fact, if I did not respect and trust them completely, I would not have felt comfortable stepping down and leaving a fair that I helped create in their hands. People can assume what they would like, but here is the whole really boring story:
Last fall, I started looking at what things I considered to be priorities in my life, that really needed my time, and what wasn’t. I do not have an unlimited amount of time in my universe. And, I ran myself pretty ragged last year. I knew that I could not continue with this pattern, that everything would start to suffer from my lack of attention if I did not become more focused with how I allotted my time and attention. There are certain things I am responsible for that are non-negotiable, like my family, schooling and work.
I have to pay my bills, and I have a 40hrs-a-week job that does this quite well. My work schedule is set and not one that I can swap shifts with someone or decide what my days off are. I can take some personal and vacation time, if needs be, but I can’t do it all the time. I only get so much paid time off, and taking a day without pay just isn’t something I prefer to do. This is how I pay my bills, and if I have to pick between work and something else, I have to pick work.
I will also pick my family as well. I have two daughters with children of their own, an aging mother that does need some of my time, brothers and a father who count as well, and a boyfriend who does try to understand about the things I do, considering he is not Pagan. So, when I have to pick between time with family and a different event, my family will usually win. I also make sure that I give my boyfriend equal time as that is only right.
I am also working towards my bachelors in Philosophy. I am not in an all-fired hurry to get it done. It is something I want to do for me, not to get rich or anything. The spring before the first fair, I had to drop all my classes. I couldn’t do both. There kept being scheduling conflicts that I just couldn’t work around. That should have told me that maybe this wasn’t something I should be doing, but I was excited about doing it. I thought I would be fine, that the time thing would sort of shake itself out and it would all work. I was also slowly putting together my own business, Urban Crone. This was also something I was not in a rush to do. I wasn't even sure what direction I was planning on taking it. I just figured I would try this or that and see what worked. Then, I took over as organizer of the Kansas City Northland Wiccan group. My plate officially became overfull.
I took on a lot more than I even realized at the time. The group was getting ready to be disbanded and disappear, and I just couldn’t see letting that happen in the Northland, who does deserve a group of their own. There are just some things you really don’t understand until you are knee deep in it. This is a large group that is growing daily. There is a website and Facebook page to maintain, relationships with other groups to maintain and events to arrange on a week by week basis, trying to work around all the other events, find locations, guest speakers and all the other stuff that comes with it. I am not complaining. I love the Kansas City Pagan and Wiccan community, and everything it has to offer. I am willing to do whatever I can to keep it thriving. This meant that I had to take something off of my plate. As I was scrambling last year to balance everything in my universe, someone decided to add a side of nonsense on to my plate.
Last summer was unfortunate. There were several people in the community who were going through some dark issues and chose to try and drag other people into their misery. It was unfortunate that the fair was swept up in it, but since it was something that meant a lot to the three of us, these people saw it as a perfect target. These people were striving to create discord in our friendship and with the fair, and they really crossed the line. We sorted out these issues after last summer’s fair, compared notes and saw these people’s issues for what they were. But, it had absolutely no bearing what so ever on my decision to step down.
Deciding to step down as one of the organizers of the KC Metaphysical Fair was not an easy decision at all. I really loved working with my friends and being part of such a fantastic event. But, I knew that it would be in good hands, that it would go on and continue to thrive in a positive manner. Sylvia and Gigi are incredibly capable organizers who can give the fair the attention and time it deserves. I will very much miss being an organizer of the KC Metaphysical Fair.
So, what now?
My focus is now on the Kansas City Pagan community and what I can do as the Northland organizer. I also love being a grandma and chasing my grandkids, working on my personal relationships and getting ready to start my education back up. I am slowly working on getting my business on track as well as solidifying my spiritual path even more.
My goal is to become more focus with what I am doing and hoping that I do it well. I felt like I wasn’t doing my best because I was just trying to do too much. I am also learning to budget my time so that I take time for myself, which has been a really nice change. Hopefully, all of this will put me in a better position to do my best at the things I choose to do.
Urban Crone aka Laurie Sherman Mcclain