I wake up during the week around 5:20am, grab a shower, get dressed, and drive to work, usually stopping for coffee and some sort of breakfast thing. I get to work at Ford Motor Company’s Kansas City Assembly Plant, sit in the lot for a few minutes, listening to the radio, eating my breakfast thing, and working up the will to walk into the plant. I am a utility operator on the actual line. Over the years, I have done jobs such as building up and installing steering columns, building dash boards, installing carpets, seatbelts, window regulators, hubs and differentials, body side parts, installed carpets and consoles, and a variety of other things that have definitely been a wear and tear on my body. This is my actual job, what I do to pay the bills. Money does not simply fall out of the sky for me. I work hard and earn everything I have.
I am 43 years old. My parents are living, and I have finally come to a good place with them where I feel like we have a decent relationship. I have 2 grown daughters who I love beyond measure, and 4 grandchildren who I adore more than I ever thought possible. I also have a man in my life that I have been with for almost 9 years, who is my North Star and solid place to land when the world seems to go sideways. And I love him in a way that I sometimes can’t really begin to understand the depth of. These are the people in my life that I find most important to me, to my world, because they are a part of who I am as a person.
I am also an artist and a writer. As far back as I can remember, I have been in love with words and art. I am a voracious reader, loving that insight into other worlds and other minds that see things in a different way than I do. Writing is an extension of my psyche, as it allows me to make tangible those things that dwell in the curious recesses of my mind. My art and other creative pursuits are my form of meditation. They are what allow me to clear my mind and unwind from the rest of the world, and are a way for me to express my true self.
For those of you who do not know, I am Wiccan and a practicing Witch, and my relationships with the Goddess and God are very important to me. I have been on this spiritual path for a very long time now, and I am very comfortable with it. I am also very publicly Wiccan, not hiding this aspect of myself from the world. Several years ago, I even reluctantly took on a leadership role in my spiritual community. This role has evolved into a larger role, and I am grateful for it as it has brought many fantastic people into my life, a number of whom I consider close friends. I have even started putting together my own Coven, and teaching my practices to others, as I feel this is the highest expression of spirituality, that of sharing this intimate part of self with others.
And with all that said, one of the more interesting things about me is that I am an introvert. My strong empathic nature, coupled with a deep intuitive ability, makes it a difficult process to be around other people. I am also an open channel, so even when I am alone, I am often dealing with those who have passed beyond the veil, who often do not knock or ask permission to chat. Over the years, I have learned to shield and manage those aspects of myself, not only my person, but in my home as well. These things will sometime keep me from events because I know that there will be energies there that I will not be able to push through and overcome. I have accepted that part of myself, and have learned to know when to push past it and go out into the world, and when to trust my instincts and stay in my safe haven.
I am also a recovering drug addict. I struggled with meth addiction for a number of years, and have been clean for 14 years now. I look back on that experience with the understanding that those were lessons I needed to learn, an understanding that could only be found through those experiences. They have shaped part of who I am today, have made me stronger and more self-reliant. I pulled myself up from a deep dark hole with only my own will and faith in my spirituality. It showed me that no matter how hard I get knocked down in life, I am capable of getting up and standing on my own two feet. In this world, that is a very powerful piece of knowledge.
I live my life on my own terms. When I chose to do something, I do it because that is what I feel is the right thing to do. I do not need my ego fed as I am totally ok with myself as who I am now. I do not use my spirituality as a way of feeding my ego, and I find those that do distasteful. What I choose to do for the community, I do for the community. I have other things that I feel more than happy with to keep my ego in check. I know that I am human, and I am reminded of that through some of the people I have met, those whose contributions to community and the world as a whole are humbling. They remind me that building community has to come from a desire to see the community thrive, not to build one's own ego.
I write all of this because I wanted there to be an understanding that I am a real human being. I have real feelings. I have a real job. I have a real family, and real friends who I cherish greatly. I do not just take up space on the internet. I am an actual person living a very real life. I am not perfect, and my life sometimes gets complicated. But, that is part of being a real person living in the real world. This right here is who Urban Crone really is. She is Laurie Sherman, a real person in the real world living a real life. And, now you know…..